The spiral that costs you the offer

READ TIME: 3 MINUTES

Helpless.

Lost.

Down.

Frustrating.

Discouraging.

Hell.

That's how my clients have described the job search.

No matter what it feels like to you, it's hands down the most frustrating process in your career.

It's also unavoidable. You'll need to go through it multiple times in this day and age. We're no longer in the world of our parents or grandparents, where they worked at the same job for 30 years.

What causes this feeling?

Everything from writing your resume. That old archaic document, where you have to figure out how to record all your experiences and accomplishments into 1 or 2 pages. How do you know what to include or leave out, and what they're looking for?

Hours of applications that go unanswered.

Being told to network, which immediately makes you cringe.

And then there's the interviews. You either ramble, don't provide enough specifics, or freeze. You prepared, but never know exactly what to prepare and what they're looking for.

Then when you finish, you get no feedback.

Or if you do get feedback, it just frustrates you even more.

You make it to the finalist round after hours of interviews and prep, and still get the no.

You're ready to give up, but know you have no choice but to get back to the grind to land the job to pay the bills.

Here's the thing: I've lived this as a candidate. I've also sat on the other side of the table.

Hiring someone new is painful for the manager too. You're trying to figure out if this person can come in and be successful on your team. Your success and your team's success depend on it.

You have limited time with the candidate. 30 minutes is like speed dating. Even 60 minutes doesn't do it justice.

Then to test their skills before you hire them, you put together a mock scenario to assess a piece of the work they'd be doing. It's not perfect, but how else can you do it?

No matter how hard you try, sometimes the person you thought was going to be great struggles. And sometimes you've said no to a candidate, the company hired them anyway, and they turned out to be exceptional.

This is the problem with interviews. There's no perfect formula that works every time.

So what do hiring teams do? They add more steps. More rounds. More assessments. From the candidate side, this takes hours of time. More frustration.

But here's where most people get trapped.

If you let the negativity get to you, it bleeds into your interviews.

Even someone who was once positive can start to blame the process, focus on the rejections, obsess over feedback that didn't land. It becomes harder to show up as the person you actually are.

The spiral works like this: first rejection stings → you start second-guessing your story → you prep differently for the next interview → you show up defending instead of selling → different energy → different outcome → the hole gets deeper.

You question your sales skills. Imposter syndrome creeps in, and before you know it you're not yourself anymore.

The right job is out there for you. Sometimes it takes time to find that. But the longer the search goes on, the deeper the hole you dig yourself into. It's eaten away at your confidence and savings.

That's exactly where Liz was when she came to me for interview prep. She was landing the interviews, but couldn't get the offer. 

She had been successful in previous sales roles, but her last role finished with a restructure. 

Then 4 months of searching on her own with rejection after rejection, and she was broken. Frustrated and confused. She needed to believe in herself again and change her approach.

We started by going back to her wins, focusing on her success and strengths, then rebuilt her story and confidence. She walked into the next interview prepared and confident, and it converted to the offer.

So how do you change your perspective?

First, you have to recognize it's happening. Stop. Take a breath. Don't overthink it. Just recognize that maybe it's time to take a break. Go for a walk. Meditate. Go to the gym. Do the thing that resets your mind.

Second is self-talk. If you start telling yourself I can't do this, you won't. Write down a previous success story. Start with a positive.

Then tell yourself I can do this, and things start to click.

Katie McPheerecently put it well:

"The stories you tell yourself about what you're capable of shape how boldly you show up. Today, talk to yourself like someone you're rooting for. See what changes."

She's right. The story you tell yourself walks into the room before you do.

That's what Liz changed. And she saw the results.

Third is momentum. Once you've reset, ask yourself one question: what's one thing I can control right now? Could be your story. Could be your network outreach. Could be how you prep for the next interview. Pick one and move on it.

Your attitude is the foundation of your success.

I'm happy to support you to turn that negative into a positive.

Hit reply and tell me: how do you feel about the job search? I read every response.

To clarity and confidence in your career path,

Amanda

See you next Sunday

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